The Nargles are flying low today
by McWhite
Summary: In which Harry learns to value Nargles, their flying habits and especially how important it is to be properly protected from Wrackspurt infestations. It is very, very important.


_Hi :)_

 _So this is the reason one should not give me harem parodies to read…I end up wanting to write them. I promise this is the last one though, at least for the foreseeable future. I also promise that Harry Potter is not mine.  
_

* * *

 _Spring 1999, Repeat of Harry's Seventh Year at Hogwarts_

"The Nargles are flying low today."

Harry looked at Luna, who was sitting by his side on the shore of the Great Lake with a dreamy smile on her face.

"That's good." He replied.

Luna's eyes widened in surprise.

"That's bad." Harry corrected himself.

Luna's expression turned into a frown.

"That's… weird?" Harry tried again.

The dreamy smile returned to Luna's face. "It is, isn't it?"

"It sure is." Harry confirmed and turned back to watch the lake, happy to have figured out the right answer. In three attempts no less. He was on fire today.

"I think we should have sex." Luna stated confidently.

Harry's head swivelled towards Luna again. "I'm sorry?"

"I said, I think we should have sex." Luna repeated.

"Why?" Later that day he would wonder why he had felt the need to question Luna's decision at that moment, but at the time it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

"To protect ourselves from Wrackspurt infestations. Wrackspurts get much more aggressive when Nargles are flying low."

"Ah, of course." Harry agreed.

"Great, then meet me in the Room of Requirement in exactly an hour." Luna commanded, before she jumped up and began running towards the castle.

"Wait, I never…" Harry started to shout, but Luna ignored him. He was worried for a little moment, then he shrugged it off. Luna wouldn't really want to have sex with him, would she?

* * *

When Harry entered the Room of Requirement exactly one hour later (Luna was very strict in those things), it was completely dark. For a moment he felt around the wall for a light switch then he remembered that he was in Hogwarts, not in a Muggle home. He pulled out his wand.

"Lumos."

"Hi Harry." Luna stood right in front of him and smiled. She was naked.

"Nox."

Maybe Luna had been serious about the sex after all. Harry took a moment to consider. Luna was attractive and Harry had spent most of his time with her ever since Ginny had broken up with him three months ago. Maybe he had misjudged the situation though and he had just imagined Luna was naked. Another look wouldn't hurt, Harry decided.

"Lumos." Yep, Luna was still naked. And still attractive. A little sex never hurt anyone.

"Hi Harry." Luna repeated.

"Hi."

She gave him a potion vial. "Drink this."

"What's that?"

"Stamina potion."

Harry blinked at her. He never had needed one of those with Ginny. "Do you really think that's necessary?" Harry asked.

"Of course. Otherwise, how will you still have sex with Parvati, Lavender, Daphne, Susan and Hannah after you had sex with me, Astoria, Su Li and Padma?"

"Huh?" Harry really didn't know what else to reply to Luna's question.

"Well, I couldn't let my friends face the Wrackspurts unprotected. So I asked Su Li, Padma and Astoria to join us. But Astoria insisted to bring Daphne and Padma wouldn't come without Parvati, who wouldn't come without Lavender. And Susan and Hannah heard about everything and asked to join in, and I couldn't very well say no to that, could I?"

"I'm still confused." Harry admitted.

Understanding dawned on Luna's face. "Ah, I forgot the lights. Sorry." She clapped into her hands twice and the room lit up.

The next moment Harry nearly fainted. Not far behind Luna, just out of the range of his Lumos spell, stood Hannah Abbot, Susan Bones, Lavender Brown, Astoria and Daphne Greengrass, Su Li and Padma and Parvati Patil. All of them were as naked as Luna. Just behind the girls stood the largest bed Harry had ever seen.

"Hi Harry." The girls chorused.

Harry gulped and tried to make sure to not let his eyes wander. Resisting Voldemort's Imperius had been child's play against this. "Hey."

The girls all smiled at him. Well, apart from Daphne Greengrass. She never ever smiled.

"So, we thought you'd start with me and then we go by alphabetical order, so we don't get confused."

Harry did what he thought every unattached eighteen year old boy in his situation would have done and quickly gulped down the stamina potion.

* * *

 _Three days later_

"The Nargles are flying low today."

Harry raised his eyebrows and turned towards Luna. "Didn't they do that just three days ago?" He couldn't completely hide the smile on his face when he thought back to that day.

"It's the season." Luna explained.

"Ah." Harry nodded in understanding.

Luna's face took on an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry, Harry, but I'm not sure that the protection from three days ago is still strong enough. I'm afraid we have to have sex again."

Harry didn't take very long to make a decision. "I think I can cope."

A smile lit up on Luna's face. "Oh, thank you so much. You are a real hero." She jumped up. "I'll meet you in the Room in an hour."

"Luna, maybe this time it can just be the two…" But Luna was already gone. Well, it wasn't like all the others would want a repeat from three days ago. Most of them probably only wanted to be able to say they slept with the Man-Who-Won.

* * *

"Hi Harry." The girls chorused as Harry entered the Room.

Harry was momentarily taken aback. "What are all of you doing back here?"

"You didn't think this you could make this a one time thing, did you?" Parvati asked.

"After all you took a responsibility to protect us from those Wrackspurts. You can't just leave us vulnerable to them now." Susan agreed.

Harry was about to question whether they actually believed in Wrackspurts or were using this as an excuse, but then he stopped himself. Why would he try and talk the girls out of it? He shrugged off the notion. Sometimes, silence was golden, he decided.

He quickly took the stamina potion Luna held out to him already.

* * *

 _Four more days later_

"The Nargles are flying low today."

Harry looked over to Luna. "The season?"

"Indeed." Luna nodded.

There were a few seconds of silence, before Harry continued the thought. "So… sex?"

"I think it would be for the best. You can never be too safe."

"I concur." Harry agreed.

"Meet me…"

"…in an hour."

* * *

"You seem a lot happier than you were a week ago." Hermione observed that day during dinner.

"Yeah… you know how it is. You can't really remain unhappy if you spend this much time with Luna."

Hermione chuckled a little. "Anything new you'd like to tell me?"

For a brief moment, Harry wondered how the conversation would go if he told Hermione about his activities earlier that day. During dinner. In the middle of the great hall. "No… not really." He decided.

Hermione raised both her eyebrows, but didn't prod any further.

* * *

 _The next day_

"The Nargles are flying low today."

"That was fast."

"Well… I guess we could try and see whether we are well enough protected without you giving us any additional protection today." Luna suggested.

Harry turned towards her and the two of them looked at each other for a long moment.

"Or maybe I could…" Harry started.

"…meet me in an hour." Luna completed with a smile.

* * *

Later that night was the first time that week he had a chance to talk to Ron in private.

"I'm sorry we don't get to talk so much, mate." Ron started.

"Don't worry about it. You are very busy." Ron spent most of his time these days with Hermione.

"Yeah, I know. And when I come back I'm always completely spent. You know how it is, Hermione takes hours to be completely satisfied." Harry had to cough a few times to hide his spluttering. Ron didn't seem to notice. "But my wand work has become much better since we started those long sessions."

"That's… great mate." Harry made sure to look anywhere but towards Ron lest his friend sees the wide-eyed, shocked look on his face.

"Have you trained your wand work lately?"

"Umm…" He wasn't really comfortable talking about that with Ron, seeing that he was Ginny's brother.

"Maybe Hermione can have a look at it."

"What?"

"She's really great at that sort of thing and there's no reason we can't share her. Would give me some time to breathe and relax every now and then, if you know what I mean."

"Well… that's very generous of you Ron, but I….umm… I think I'll pass."

"Alright, if you're sure. But feel free to just join us if you change your mind. Hermione also is great to train your oral skills with."

This was definitely the weirdest conversation Harry had ever had with Ron. He wondered what he had done to make his best male friend think he wanted to know those kinds of details.

"Hermione's still much better with a wand though."

Harry couldn't stop himself from turning towards Ron in surprise. "I'm sorry?"

"You know, the way she handles a wand is always so elegant." Ron said dreamily.

"Right." Harry decided that retreat was best for the moment, before his head exploded. "You know, I think I forgot something in the common room. I'll just pop downstairs. I'll be back in… an hour."

"Oh, yeah sure. Probably be asleep by then. Hermione wants me in top form tomorrow."

"Yes, please go to sleep. Good night."

* * *

It wasn't long before Harry started to hang out with the girls even when it wasn't a 'Nargle Day', as they had come to call it. He found their company to be a lot of fun, and the girls appeared to enjoy his company vice versa. Apart from Daphne, who never _appeared_ to enjoy anything. However, she wasn't forced to hang out with them (Harry had asked all the other girls, just to be sure) so he assumed she liked it well enough. They had a lot of fun with each other, both on Nargle Days and on non Nargle Days.

About a month after the first Nargle Day, it happened that Luna wouldn't call Nargle Day for a full week. It was raining a lot, and according to Luna Nargles didn't fly when it was raining. While the interruption of their Nargle-related activities did not impact their growing friendship, Harry had come to very much enjoy Nargle Days and was somewhat sad for them to stop all of a sudden.

When he arrived in front of the old classroom where he would meet the girls for common studying, he heard Susan's voice whining from inside.

"Are you sure the Nargles aren't flying low today, Luna?"

"Of course. Nargles don't fly while it's raining."

"But if they don't fly, couldn't one argue that they are low?" Parvati argued.

"Most of the Nargles in the area gather on the top of the Astronomy Tower when they don't fly. So they aren't low then." Luna explained.

"And what if you just told Harry that the Nargles were flying low?" The question came from Astoria.

"Why would I do that?" Luna asked, confusion clear in her voice.

"You know why." Lavender pointed out.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do." Lavender repeated urgently.

"No, I don't." Luna insisted.

"So that we can all do you-know-what." Su helped out.

"What?"

"You-know-what." Su repeated slowly.

"I know what?" Luna still sounded confused.

"Yes. You-know-what. What we usually do when Nargles fly low." Padma tried.

There was a long silence in the room, before Luna's voice sounded again. "Ah, have sex with Harry, you mean."

"Yes." Susan agreed triumphantly.

"Why would we have sex with Harry when there is no danger of a Wrackspurt infestation?" Luna asked immediately.

"Because it's fun and Harry is a god in bed?" Lavender asked incredulously. Maybe it was wishful thinking on his part, but Harry thought he heard quite a few murmurs of agreement with Lavender's statement.

"Isn't that why you invented Nargle Days in the first place?" Parvati inquired.

"Well, it is fun." Luna admitted. "But writing essays is fun, too, and we still don't do it unless it's homework."

"Yes, but you see, you-know-what…"

"Sex." Luna clarified.

"Yes, sex. That's more enjoyable than writing an essay." Padma completed her previous sentence.

"You think so?" Luna questioned interestedly.

"Well, it _definitely_ is with Harry." Padma confirmed.

Again there was a silence in the room, and Harry hoped the girls had managed to convince Luna. Then Luna's voice sounded again. "But I still think we shouldn't lie to Harry like that."

"He will forgive us." Hannah quickly ensured her.

He would, Harry agreed.

"But it's wrong to lie to him. Why don't you just ask him for sex if that's what you want?"

"We can't just ask him to have sex with us." Astoria protested in an appalled voice.

"But why?"

"Because a Lady doesn't do that."

"But why?"

"Because it wouldn't be proper behaviour."

"But why?"

"Because a Lady should be more subtle."

"But why?"

"Because we don't want to sound desperate."

"But why?"

"Because it would give the wrong impression to the guy in question."

"But why?"

"I give up."

"You lasted one more 'But why?' than I did yesterday." Susan consoled Astoria with pity in her voice.

"But I want to have sex with Harry again." Lavender cried out in frustration. This time Harry was certain. There were clear murmurs of agreement from many voices audible through the door.

However, knowing Luna well enough to know that she would never be convinced by the others, Harry decided to at least have some fun by entering the room at that moment. "Hi everyone."

He was greeted by seven highly red faces, one stone faced Daphne and a single "Hi Harry" from Luna.

* * *

The rain continued for another week, and Harry overheard several more conversations much like that first one. Meanwhile, the girls (even Daphne) seemed to try and get closer to him. They sat closer to him when they studied in the library. When they hung out in an empty classroom one of them would regularly take a seat in his lap. And most enjoyably they started giving him quick kisses on the cheek or on the lips for greeting or good byes.

It took seventeen days until the sun showed its face again. By that time, there was barely a moment outside class when Harry wasn't at least with some of the girls. As all of them left the great hall after breakfast, Luna stopped so suddenly that Astoria walked right into her.

"Luna, what in the name of Merlin?" Astoria complained.

Luna remained silent and stared intently at the sky outside the castle. Then she turned around to face the group with a serious expression. "The Nargles are flying low today."

Before anyone else could react in any way, there was a loud shout. "Finally!"

Everyone turned their heads to look at Daphne incredulously. Daphne's jubilant expression immediately vanished to be replaced by her usual, stony face. "I mean, I felt rather unprotected from Wrackspurts lately and it's time for Potter to do his duty."

Harry and the other girls blinked several times. Then as one they decided not to question Daphne. Nothing good ever came from questioning Daphne.

* * *

 _The end of the same week_

"Are you sure there is nothing new going on in your life, Harry?" Hermione asked him one evening in the common room.

Harry heard Lavender and Parvati giggle and then saw them dart up the stairs towards their dorm room. Cowards. He turned towards Hermione. "Why do you ask, Hermione?"

"Well, partly because Lavender and Parvati spent the last half hour looking at you as if they were considering pouncing you and dragging you into a broom closet…" Those two never seemed to get enough, Harry mused "…and partly because you seem to spend an awful lot of time with Daphne and Astoria Greengrass."

"So?" Harry was confused about the last point.

"They are Slytherins, Harry."

"Not all Slytherins are bad, Hermione." Harry was a little disappointed that his best friend would think like that. She was always the open minded one about those kinds of things.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, _I_ know that, Harry. I just never knew you did, too."

"Fair enough."

"You never answered my question."

"What question?"

"Are you sure there's nothing new in your life? I spend all my time with Ron these days. He's always completely exhausting me. And when I'm not with him you aren't free. We barely get to talk."

"But at least you're having a good time with Ron, right? He's always extremely tired and smiling when he comes to the dorm room. And he said his wand work had improved dramatically."

"It better had. Otherwise all those studying sessions in the library would be for nothing."

"Yes… wait… what?"

"I said otherwise those study sessions in the library would be for nothing. I mean, we're only doing this so that he can become an Auror after all. It was quite awkward to begin with, to be honest. Studying together although we had broken up. But we soon went back to the way we were before we were dating. It's back to what it was like before fifth year now, only Ron is more motivated. It's actually quite pleasant. Harry, are you alright? You look like Voldemort is standing behind me? Are you breathing?"

"The two of you are broken up?" Harry cried incredulously.

"Of course, we broke up as soon as you and Ginny broke up. We only stayed together that long because you were just fresh back together with her and we didn't want to worry you."

"But you never told me!"

"Ron said he told you."

"I would definitely remember that."

"So you thought we were together all that time? Wait… that's why you started spending so much time with Luna, because you didn't want to disturb us?"

"Yeah." Harry agreed quickly. It wasn't a lie, he told himself. That _was_ why he had started to do so.

"And all this time Ron and I spent alone you though we were…"

"Yup."

"Oh."

Hermione blushed in a deep red. Harry had become rather blush resistant, due to spending so much time surrounded by girls lately.

"Well, we weren't." Harry was beyond relieved. That explained many of the weird conversations he'd had with Ron lately.

"Good." Hermione looked at him confusedly. "I mean, not 'good' good. Just good, you know? I mean it makes those times Ron tried to tell me about his wand work and get me to have you test out mine much less frightening."

Hermione blushed once more. Harry was sure there would be steam coming out of her ears every second now. It took a couple of minutes before she managed to gather herself enough to speak again.

"Well, I'm glad we cleared that up then."

"Yes." Harry agreed.

"I don't think Ron ever needs to learn about this misunderstanding, Harry. He'd never be able to look either of us into the eyes again."

"Probably not."

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever thought about it?"

"What?"

"Me testing your wand work, I mean?"

"Err…." Maybe Harry wasn't as blush resistant as he'd thought he was.

"Don't misunderstand me… I just meant, when Ron suggested it did you…"

"Yes… I mean, if someone mentions it then it's kinda hard not to… you know."

"Sure, completely understandable. It would be the same for me, I guess. Not that someone actually… I mean apart from Parvati that one time…" Suddenly, Hermione was blushing again. "Oh look, is it that late already… I think I'll go to bed."

With that she jumped up and darted up the stairs to her dorm, leaving behind a still slightly blushing and very confused Harry. Girls.

* * *

 _A few days before the end of school_

Harry was a very happy young man at the moment, lying on the large bed in the Room of Requirement, with Astoria in right arm and Luna in his left. The other girls were lying around in the bed most of them pretending to sleep. Which was suspicious, because usually they would all queue up for snuggles.

"Harry?"

"Yes, Luna?"

"We girls talked amongst us…"

"Yes?"

"The forecasts say that this summer it's going to be really bad with the Nargles."

"Do they?"

"Yes, there will be a special feature of the Quibbler next week."

"I see."

"Anyway, none of us feel safe staying on our own, you know. And since you'd live all alone in Potter Manor, we thought we could all move in with you."

"Move in with me?"

"Yes."

"All of you?"

"Yes."

Harry was fairly certain people would talk about that. Then again, he would get to live with all the girls for a while longer. Yeah, that wasn't even a decision.

"Alright, just to be sure I understand this. All of you want to move in with me?"

"Yes."

"Even Daphne?" Harry asked, thinking of the still near perpetually stone faced girl.

"It was her idea." Astoria snorted.

"It wasn't." Daphne protested from somewhere to his left.

"I thought you were sleeping." Astoria reminded her.

"I am."

"How can you reply when you are sleeping?"

"Because I can."

"Alright, but I clearly remember you suggesting this two days ago."

"You must confuse me with Parvati."

"Sure, because with your blond hair and ivory skin you are easily confused with an Indian twin."

"Also since the idea was that good, it would have been me, not Parvati." Padma piped in.

"Hey!" Parvati complained.

"So, want to own up to it, Daph?" Astoria asked her sister.

"I'm sleeping again."

"You said that we should all move into Potter Manor so that Harry can continue to protect us from Wrackspurts."

"…"

"Daphne?"

"…"

Astoria frowned cutely, before an evil smile suddenly spread on her face. "Alright, maybe I really confused her with Parvati. In that case I guess all of us want to move in other than Daphne."

There was a not at all Daphne like shriek "What?"

"I guess that's fine." Harry agreed, playing along with Astoria's plan. The younger Greengrass sister gave him a grin.

"Wait a moment…"

"Alright then. I don't think there is need to have bedrooms prepared, just buy a larger bed for your own one."

"Got it."

"Hey…" Daphne tried to interrupt.

"I mean not as large as this one, since we'll be one less…"

"Stop it…"

"…but also not too small if you know what I mean."

"I think I can manage."

"Also, my family owns a Manor in South France." Astoria continued. "So we thought after we all settled down in Potter Manor, we could go there together. It comes with a private nude beach."

Harry frowned. "If it's a private beach, can't you decide yourself whether it's a nude beach or not?" Granted, he didn't have a lot of experience with beaches, but that would seem sensible to him.

Astoria rolled her eyes. "That's what I'm saying. A private nude beach."

"Ah. Of course. Sorry. I'm with you now."

"I mean, I guess it would have been more fun with Daphne around, too. She loves France so much. But I guess we'll have to make do with out her."

"ALRIGHT!" Daphne shouted and everyone on the bed shifted to turn towards her with wide eyes. Harry had never heard her shout before. "Alright, it was my idea. I thought without Potter we'd be in danger of Wrackspurts, and it would be infeasible and inefficient to expect him to come around to everyone of us every day. So it's only sensible we move in with him."

"So you do want to come?" Astoria asked sweetly.

"Yes." Daphne agreed.

"Great. Oh, by the way Harry, Luna mentioned the Wrackspurts in France are much more dangerous than here and we'll all need extra protection while we're there. Sorry to dump this on you."

"I guess I'll live."

"And just to warn you. After the summer we all have to start jobs and we'll have even less time. So some of us might end up having to stay with you for longer." Susan added.

"One can never be too careful." Lavender agreed sagely.

"That would be fine, I guess." Harry agreed.

"Outstanding. Then there is only one more thing we wanted to discuss." Luna started.

"And that would be?"

Astoria took over. "Well, with all the dangers of going to France we thought it would be best to start on a tighter protection immediately. You know, to build up some immunity. So we might now require some activity even when Nargles are not flying low that day. And we thought we could start immediately. Just to be sure."

A large smile spread on Harry's face. "If you think that's for the best, I guess we could do that."

There was a chorus of squeals as suddenly the whole bed broke out in movement.

* * *

That spring and summer was the time when Harry decided that Nargles were his favourite animals on the whole planet. And when he got to know most of the future members of the Coven of the Nargle, the most influential coven in modern magical history. Together, Harry and his group (which would later come to include Hermione and interestingly Pansy Parkinson and then years later also Gabrielle Delacour) would provide Magical Britain and the Wizarding World with two Heads of the DMLE (Harry and Susan), four Ministers of Magic (Daphne, Harry, Pansy and most surprisingly Luna), one Eldest of the United Veela Tribes (Gabrielle), two Head Healers in Saint Mungos (Hannah and Padma), the first Muggleborn Headmistress of Hogwarts (Hermione), two Chief Witches of the Wizengamot (Pansy and Astoria), two Heads of the Department for International Relations (Su Li and Daphne), one Editor in Chief for Witch Weekly (Lavender), two Editors in Chief of the Quibbler (Luna and Parvati), one Editor in Chief of the Daily Prophet (Astoria), one President of the International Association of Healers (Padma) and two Supreme Mugwumps of the ICW (Harry and Daphne).

But those are stories for another time.

* * *

 _If you made it to this point, I hope you enjoyed yourself :) See you next time._


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